Mark Twain once said, "I can live for two months on a good compliment." Good for Mark Twain, but I don't know many husbands and wives who can survive on six compliments a year. Solomon, author of the ancient Hebrew wisdom literature, wrote, "The tongue has the power of life and death. "Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other. Verbal compliments are powerful communicators of love.
A Kind Tongue
There is a difference between encouraging words and nagging words. Encouraging words always focus on something your spouse wants to do, not something you want them to do. A nag is anything you tell your spouse more than three times. If we are to express love by words of affirmation, those words must be kind words.
Kindness also has to do with the manner in which we speak. Sometimes our words are saying one thing, but our tone of voice is saying another. Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use. The same words expressed with a loud, harsh voice will not be an expression of love, but an expression of condemnation and judgment.
An Encouraging Story
One way to verbally affirm your spouse is to give encouraging words. Allison always wanted to be a writer, but after receiving her first rejection slip from the publisher, she gave up. One evening her husband Keith came into the den and said, "I hate to interrupt your reading, but I have to tell you this. I just finished reading your article. Allison, you are an excellent writer. This stuff ought to be published! Your words paint pictures that I can visualize. You have got to submit this stuff to some magazines."
"Do you really think so?" Allison asked.
"I know so," Keith said. "I'm telling you, this is good."
Ten years later, Allison has had several articles published and has her first book contract. She credits her success to Keith's words of encouragement. Perhaps your spouse has untapped potential in one or more areas of life. That potential may be awaiting your encouraging words.
Affirming someone is confirming truth and strengthening it. It also is something that is very important in children's life, their personal growth and their own self-image. Filling up their love tank with I love you's can transform a bad day or dull day into special act of love and act of sevice. It need only be simple "you look handsome today", "that meal was delicious, I am so full" or "You look good in that __". If this is your spouse's love language and isn't yours, you would never understand it...but you "MUST" LEARN to speak it!!!! If you haven't been doing this lately, that tank is going empty.
Appreciating someone is adding value to them. If you want them to be more valuable to you appreciate them more. That is one of the many things I love about my husband, he makes me feel more loved.
We should Encourage each other because we get knocks and bruises in life.When we speak encouraging words we give that EXTRA energy to the other.. It also makes them feel loved. God gives us words of encouragement when we feel so down and it makes us feel that we want to go on, we should do the same thing to our loved ones. And not just be the kind of person who thinks that they already know you love them so you dont have to say these words of love, appreciation, encouragement and affirmation to them. They need it, like you do.
LUISA
How do you make your other half MORE special each day?
